Goodness how life has changed.
If you have followed along with my journey to motherhood, you will know by the end of this post just how far this journey has taken me. You can read my journey by clicking the following links:
Journey with Baby Ray – Part 1
Journey with Baby Ray – Part 2
Journey with Baby Ray – Part 3
Our Babymoon in California
My Maternity Session
Nancy’s Baby Shower
Milly’s Birth Story Part One
Milly’s Birth Story Part Two
Nancy’s Maternity Leave
Milly’s Newborn Session
Someone asked me the other day, “So how is being a mom? What’s it like? Is it what you expected?”
My answer was, “It’s more of everything.
I’m more exhausted and tired than I’ve been in my whole life.
I’m more overwhelmed at my experience of childbirth the more I think about it.
I’m more grateful for a healthy baby and a husband who cares so well for both of us.
I’m more in love than I ever thought possible.
It’s more of every emotion, every experience, every feeling. I look at the world differently now.”
Life these days have been good. So good. I never imagined I would look back and say that I loved being pregnant and I LOVE being a mama, but goodness, I have loved it. Even though Milly’s birth was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life and my recovery was slow, I looked at Will when she was just 2 weeks old and said, “I can’t wait to do this all over again.”
My days go a little something like this:
I wake up to the biggest smile I ever seen.
I watch Will make faces and nicknames and funny voices, just to see her laugh.
I change her clothes and her diapers and most days, her clothes again.
I obsess over her jammies and am still squeezing her into my favorite ones even though she probably outgrew them last week.
I take more naps.
She takes way more naps than me.
I spend most of my awake time and some of my sleep time feeding her, and I love every moment of it.
When she cries, my heart aches.
When she does something new, my heart tries to explode but can’t, so I’m left with all kinds of feelings of pride and happiness and “slow down!” and amazement and deep love, all mashed up inside of me.
I have a new view of my work and a greater understanding of the word “legacy” than ever before.
Oh man do I love photography so much more. I treasure these photographs so much.
I think deeply about life at some point every day, as I experience this world for the first time through her eyes again and again.
I spend time with Jesus throughout my day. I try to start with a quiet time in the mornings, but usually my time is interrupted. I think He likes it like that, because He is teaching me to abide in Him throughout my days.
I have fallen in love with Will all over again. He is an incredible husband and father.
I cry a lot, I laugh a lot. My life is richer because she’s in it.
Life as Milly’s Mama is better than I could have ever imagined. Isn’t it just like God to do that – to turn our expectations on top of themselves, to slow us down and drink in the life that He gives, to be blown away that He would count me worthy to do such work. It’s hard and messy and the sweetest work I’ve ever known.
To all you mamas out there – I’d love to hear how you were surprised by motherhood in the comments!
All images by the amazing Elizabeth Tate. She graciously stayed with me for a few hours to capture a small “day in the life” session. Goodness knows I will probably treasure these photos more than anything – just doing life with my sweet Milly. Thank you Elizabeth – I’m so grateful!
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